Ranking the 5 Worst Characters of Mad Men Season 1
Even though Mad Men is filled with some of TV’s most colorful characters, it also gave us some of the blandest, bitchiest and most boring bastards you’d ever have the displeasure to meet. These are the 5 worst characters of Mad Men season 1, ranked by how hard they absolutely suck. Luckily, the writers must’ve realized how bad they were, and so most of them don’t last to season 2.
5. Midge Daniels
Midge is a sexy beatnik who smokes pot and has good taste in music (she is a fan of both Miles Davis and Bix Beiderbecke). However, she has nothing to add to the show whatsoever other than shallow sex appeal. Ultimately, Midge is just a place for Don to stick his Dick Whitman in. It’s kind of surprising that her affair with Don lasted as long as it did.
4. Helen Bishop
When all the housewives were picking on Helen for being a divorcée who likes to go on long walks around the neighborhood, I thought that maybe they were just jealous. Turns out that Helen is a selfish self-centered neglectful parent who probably deserved it. I’m glad Betty slapped her face in the supermarket.
I was tempted to put her nine-year-old son Glen in this spot, but I decided that Helen was worse overall in season one. Even though Glen’s weird obsession with watching Betty pee was cause for serious concern, he (sort of) gets a pass due to Helen being a terrible mother. On any other TV show, he’d grow up to be the Zodiac Killer. On Mad Men season 1, however, he’s just a product of a broken home.
3. Archie Whitman
Don’s dear old daddy is probably the biggest piece of shit in the Mad Men universe. Luckily, he died in the Great Depression, and we only get to see him a couple times during flashbacks. In “The Hobo Code,” he lets a migrant stay at his farm in exchange for work and doesn’t pay him a single cent.
2. Peggy Olson’s gynecologist
In the series premiere, Peggy goes on birth control, but not before her gynecologist slut shames her into oblivion. He also smokes a cigarette during the scene. Perhaps the episode should’ve been titled “Smoke Gets in Your Ass”? He also should’ve told her that birth control doesn’t start working immediately (i.e. help her avoid a bastard child with Pete Campbell).
1. Dr. Arnold Wayne (Betty Draper’s psychiatrist)
Betty’s psychiatrist says maybe five lines of dialogue the whole season. And then he turns around and tells Don everything that Betty said during her sessions. He’s no Dr. Melfi, that’s for sure. (Dr. Kupferberg is a more appropriate comparison.) He’s the worst character of Mad Men season 1, and thankfully the season finale is the last we ever see of him. He died on the way back to his home planet.