“Long Term Parking” Review
Grade: A+
“Born to Run”
Pretty much every single character in The Sopranos is a tragic figure, doomed from the very start. And season five of the series might be the most tragic of all, as loose ends that had been left suspended for the better portion of the series are finally tied up. With “Long Term Parking,” we reach the show’s most depressive juncture: the death of Adriana La Cerva. It’s a heartbreaking point of no return.
The FBI turned Adriana into their reluctant ace in the hole at the end of season three, a role which has caused her to become increasingly isolated, depressed and unhealthy ever since. As a result, Adriana has become the show’s most (and, quite possibly, only) sympathetic character. But she’s also the show’s most helpless.
Nevertheless, we’ve held out hope that somehow things will work themselves out — maybe she’ll find a way to outsmart those evil FBI agents. After all, she’s already survived this long. Who’s to say there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel?
“Long Term Parking” quickly dispels any optimism. In the opening scene, the FBI views surveillance footage taken outside Adriana’s club (in which she suspiciously removes a bag from the trash) and decides to call her in for questioning. A pit has formed in our stomach — we all remember what happened to Big Pussy Bonpensiero, The Sopranos’ previous informant. Just like Adriana, we’re rendered helpless as we watch the familiar events unfold.
For the entire series, we’ve held the FBI characters in extreme contempt. They’ve completely ruined Adriana’s life just to further their investigation, and they’ve revealed themselves to be just as ruthless as the very criminals they’re trying to catch. But therein lies the moral conundrum — how innocent is Adriana really?
It’s revealed that she helped cover up a murder at the Crazy Horse (an accidental drug deal gone wrong, which we see in flashback), and she isn’t above reproach when it comes to turning a blind eye to her mobster family members. That isn’t to say she deserves to die — especially in the brutal manner we see at the end of the episode — but she certainly isn’t blameless, no matter how well actress Drea De Matteo sells her character’s vulnerability.
Throughout “Long Term Parking,” The Sopranos cruelly plays with our emotions. Last week was a languid dream, but this week is a horrifying reality check. The pit in our stomach grows larger with each passing scene.
The only option is for Adriana to wear a wire, but she persuades the feds that she’ll be able to convince her boyfriend, Christopher Moltisanti, to join her in the witness protection program too. After all, he’s felt mistreated and betrayed by Tony’s leadership since the very beginning. We foolishly feel optimistic for them. However, the episode title itself alludes that there’s only ever been one destination.
In one of the most harrowing scenes of the series, Chris nearly chokes Adriana to death after she tells him the truth. But does that put an end to our optimism? No, because Chris calms down the next morning and actually begins to consider a new life. Despite all the domestic abuse and volatile behavior that he’s displayed throughout the series, in this instant we believe he can change.
The greatness of “Long Term Parking” is how easily it manipulates our perceptions, making us forget about the pre-established rules of The Sopranos universe. Time and time again the series has taught us that people don’t change, that Chris and Tony and all the rest of the mobsters are irredeemably evil, that “the fucking regularness of life” is too hard for a made man.
Even when Chris pauses to watch a guy at the gas station with an unhappy wife and screaming children all clambering into a tiny car, we hold out hope that he’ll make the right decision. Even when Adriana receives a call from Tony saying that Chris attempted suicide and that Silvio Dante will be picking her up to meet everyone at the hospital, we hold out hope that they’re telling the truth. And even when Adriana has a wishful fantasy where she drives down the highway by herself, we still hold out hope that she’ll somehow make it out alive.
But deep down, we always knew how it’d end. The episode does a fantastic job of putting us in Adriana’s shoes, constantly in denial of the inevitable. Reality finally sets in when Adriana is in the passenger seat of Silvio’s car. Every close-up of the roadway and the passing trees is agonizing to watch. We’re trapped with no way out.
Silvio turns down a back road and pulls off into the woods. He mercilessly drags Adriana out of the car, calls her a “cunt” and follows her with a gun as she crawls away offscreen. The shots ring out in the empty forest, and at least The Sopranos spares us the horror of having to see the murder for ourselves. The camera cranes up to the treetops, an eerie and deathly image of calm.
However, this is just one half of “Long Term Parking.” The other is completely opposite in tone, as Tony reconciles with Carmela and moves back in with his family. The development is honestly quite endearing. But that’s probably why the contrast works so well — in moments like these, we refuse to believe that Tony can be so evil.
At the same time, however, Tony is debating whether to kill his own cousin, Tony Blundetto, who is in hiding after murdering members of the New York City crime family last week. For the same reasons as the Adriana storyline, we don’t immediately accept what will happen (even though last week’s dream prepared us for it).
For instance, it feels like a turning point when Tony S confesses to Tony B over the phone that he had a panic attack all those years ago and has been struggling with overwhelming guilt ever since. Is there actually some moral progress being made? No, because Tony S immediately traces the call and tracks down his cousin’s location. With the family history finally off his chest, he’s now free to act in his own interest, no longer feeling the need to protect his cousin’s life.
In terms of plotting, “Long Term Parking” is probably the most dramatic installment of the series, filled with rewarding yet heartbreaking payoffs that have been steadily building for years. In true Sopranos fashion, however, the ending is perfectly anticlimactic.
For one, we don’t get to see Adriana’s murder (some viewers even speculated that she was still alive during the series’ original run). And we also get to see the mob’s customary clean-up after the fact — an unaffected Chris disposes of her belongings in a remote location and abandons her car in “long-term parking” at the airport. In a way, these well-practiced acts are just as chilling and gruesome as her death.
Meanwhile, the final scene of the episode merely shows Tony and Carmela examining a plot of land (part of Carmela’s terms of getting back together was that Tony buys a $600,000 vacant lot for her to build a spec house). Director Tim Van Patten makes sure to focus on the dead leaves and the treetops, an autumnal setting that mirrors where Adriana was killed. Tony thoughtfully looks around, the weight of unforgivable murders hanging heavy on his conscience. The music played over the credits — “Wrapped in My Memory” by Shawn Smith — is one of the only times on the show when the concluding song is appropriately sentimental.
As far as Sopranos episodes go, “Long Term Parking” is a perfect installment. Unlike previous masterpieces like “College” and “Pine Barrens,” however, the episode cannot stand alone without proper context. Instead, it’s closest and most obvious comparison is “Funhouse,” a cathartic dénouement that closes the book on one of the series’ most painful chapters.
STRAY ROUNDS
- Unusual for The Sopranos in that there are several flashback scenes this episode. The first one is when Adriana recounts the story of how Middle Eastern drug dealer Matush killed someone in the back room of the Crazy Horse. It’s a truly brutal murder, as Matush and another associate repeatedly stab a man who confronts them. The fact that Adriana wants to cover this up is an alarming indictment on her character and proves that there’s no such thing as an innocent mob wife.
- The second flashback shows Phil Leotardo remembering the offscreen events of last episode: Tony B shoots Billy Leotardo (Phil’s brother) to death. Similar to the Adriana flashback, it shows that Tony B’s impending death will also be justified.
- The third flashback, albeit brief, is Tony S reminiscing of the good times he’s had with his cousin (including showing them as teenagers on Uncle Pat’s farm). The flashbacks are a nice way to show that everyone on the series has something heavy weighing on their minds — an albacore around all their necks.
- Because Tony B was only introduced at the beginning of season five (as someone who has apparently been an important family member despite never being mentioned before), it’s been somewhat difficult to truly become invested in his storyline. However, the subplot gains emotional weight here by being directly compared to the Adriana subplot, which had already been built up over a longer period of time.
- Another warning sign that Adriana is doomed: Chris is drinking alcohol throughout the episode, saying that he has his addiction under control.
- Tony breaks up with his comare Valentina, who suffered serious burns last episode. As always, he does the “right” thing (getting back with Carmela and swearing off infidelity) in the most toxic way possible. Valentina threatens to commit suicide, but Tony flippantly brushes it off (despite what happened to Irina and Gloria in the past).
- People never change — Carmela is only in it for the money and immediately forgets how toxic her marriage was after Tony agrees to buy the vacant lot for $600,000.
- Near the end of the episode, the FBI assumes that Adriana is probably dead, but they can’t legally do anything about it. Even though they’ve been an insufferable collection of characters, this is the first time we’re actually rooting for them to succeed. Once again, series creator David Chase implicates the role of the audience in his moral conundrums. It took this long for us to want to see Tony face consequences, even though he’s been evil since the very beginning.
- Originally, “Long Term Parking” was to include a scene of Chris telling Tony about Adriana’s betrayal. In order to build the tension, however, De Matteo asked Chase to cut it from the episode. It was a fantastic choice. Even though suspense isn’t part of The Sopranos‘ usual aesthetic, the episode is all the better for it. The scene in question will later be included in season six as part of a flashback.
- “Long Term Parking” was written by Terence Winter and directed by Tim Van Patten.
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
- “We’re at a fucking stagmire.”
- “Highway was jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive.”
- “There she is! My smelly valentine.”
- “That’s the guy, Adriana. My uncle Tony. The guy I’m going to Hell for.”
- “I could write my memoirs finally.”
- “This is long term parking only.”
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