“Two Tonys” Review
Grade: A-
“The Prince of Tides”
It’s been a longer-than-usual wait since we last saw The Sopranos (“Two Tonys,” the season five premiere, aired 15 months after “Whitecaps,” the season four finale). The show’s fictional timeline reflects the prolonged passage of time, yet despite the extended delay, “Two Tonys” is a confident return that instantly immerses and welcomes us back with open arms.
Sure, things are different than before — Tony Soprano is separated from his wife Carmela; no one is home to pick up the newspaper at the end of the driveway; and several old gangsters (including Tony’s cousin) are being released from prison. Nevertheless, every character is just as selfish and sociopathic and entertaining as ever, proving that the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Compared to the minimalism and malaise that were hallmarks of season four, “Two Tonys” moves at a much faster pace, as if the series has been reinvigorated after last year’s tonal reset. The editing is quicker, the lighting is brighter and the overall atmosphere is surprisingly cheerful despite the cynical themes. “Two Tonys” is a proud return, yet it’s never obtrusive or ostentatious.
The episode opens with a musical montage set to “Heaven Only Knows” by Emmylou Harris. It’s somewhat of a callback to how season two began, but instead of a poetic passage of time showing the characters’ daily routines, this three-seasons-later prologue is a stark portrayal of Tony’s favorite household accessories gathering dust in his absence (e.g., the grill, the swimming pool, the lawn chairs). It’s a satirical look at The Sopranos‘ new normal — even though “Whitecaps” shook up the entire series, “Two Tonys” makes clear that the differences are mostly superficial.
As we gradually check back in with the characters, we find that their lives remain constant. Notably, Tony and Carmela’s relationship is pretty much the same as it ever was (other than the fact that they no longer live or sleep together). Case in point: Tony still gets to enter and exit the home as he pleases, Carmela still needs money to feel secure and they both argue with each other whenever they’re in the same room. It’s also worth mentioning that they’re not even actually divorced, which suggests Carmela will never be free from Tony’s toxic influence.
It’s fitting that a black bear has started rummaging through the Soprano backyard whenever Tony is away. And even though the symbolism of whom the bear represents is quite obvious, the metaphor becomes more complex when you consider how each character reacts to the threat — AJ is petrified; Carmela casually chases it away with pots and pans; the authorities remark that there’s not much they can do; and mafia soldiers Benny Fazio and Little Paulie take turns guarding the house with AK-47s at Tony’s request.
Even Tony himself takes over guard duty at episode’s end, a metaphorical oxymoron in which he accepts that his own family needs to be protected from him, but at the same time believes he’s the only one who can protect them. He’s simultaneously the frog and the scorpion — the solution to all his self-inflicted problems, and vice versa.
As said before, the episode moves by at a brisk and lively pace, and it’s refreshing to see The Sopranos return with such a revitalized approach. However, this is just an artful misdirect by series creator David Chase (cowriter Terence Winter and director Tim Van Patten also deserve credit). The energetic filmmaking seems to signify a new beginning where anything is possible, when in fact it’s just meant to disguise the bleak outlook on human nature The Sopranos has always possessed.
For example, Tony sees his separation as the perfect opportunity to pursue a romance with Dr. Melfi, as if that’ll suddenly make her forget he’s a murderer (nevermind the fact he already tried and failed to seduce her back in season one). Likewise, Chris Moltisanti and Paulie Gualtieri are once again feuding with each other, even though they seemed to reach a truce in season three. And even though Chris is now living a sober life, that doesn’t mean his days as a criminal are over. He can’t resist killing an innocent waiter in a restaurant parking lot.
The waiter’s (somewhat accidental) death is shockingly violent, even when compared to the level of brutality we’re used to seeing. Once again, a seemingly lighthearted and humorous subplot hides the savagery underneath — a cruel reminder that we should be rooting for the characters to face repercussions for their actions, not rooting for them to escape. As such, we viewers can take pride in the fact that we’re repulsed rather than entertained by this particular act of violence.
But don’t worry — even though “Two Tonys” is relatively light on mafia storylines, there’ll be plenty of violence to come in the future. For instance, we get to meet one of the gangsters released from prison (Robert Loggia plays Feech La Manna as an older and surlier mash-up of Richie Aprile and Ralph Cifaretto). Also, elderly New York City boss Carmine Lupertazzi suffers an untimely stroke, suggesting that our bloodlust will be satisfied sooner rather than later.
For now, however, “Two Tonys” is perfectly content to get us back in the swing of things on the domestic front. The Sopranos above all remains a show about family and, as Tony once said, his is better off with him than without him. This brings up another moral dilemma: should we be rooting for Tony and Carmela to get back together and resume their toxic marriage?
Tony’s courtship of Melfi (he brings her flowers, buys cruise tickets and forcibly kisses her in a cringeworthy attempt to show that there are ‘two Tonys,’ one of which she’s never seen) perfectly leads to the ending of the episode (Tony returning home to fulfill his bear patrol obligations), showing us that Carmela is the perfectly flawed woman for a man like Tony.
That’s because Carmela embodies everything that Melfi stands against. She’s the woman who will sit silently while Tony is disrespectful and dishonest and destructive to everyone around him; the one who loves his use of force and threat of violence; the woman who offers him coffee while he sits outside with a gun — a passive enabler who will never change her ways. The final scene is a twisted representation of romance, and “Heaven Only Knows” (a tender song about a dying relationship carrying on long past the expiration date) plays once more as we reach the end credits.
“Two Tonys” comes full circle and, more than anything, we’re glad to be back and we also eagerly await what’s next, which is exactly what a season premiere should accomplish. Amidst all the changes, the episode immediately hooks us with the thought-provoking thrills that we’ve come to expect — an installment specifically designed to reward long-time fans.
STRAY ROUNDS
- Keeping with the episode’s themes of people not changing: AJ has a shiny new drum set but is still an ungrateful and unfortunate son; Meadow has a new convertible but is still a spoiled brat; Janice is married to Bobby Baccalieri but is still a self-centered sociopath; and Uncle Junior has beaten his RICO trial but remains a cantankerous old grouch who exhibits signs of dementia. Life goes on.
- Dr. Melfi also doesn’t change, but that’s a strength in this episode. Nevertheless, it’s unfortunate that her storyline is a retread of familiar territory. Truth be told, the show’s writers have somewhat struggled to do anything new with the character since “Employeee of the Month,” but her rejection of Tony’s advances is a well-deserved moment of moral triumph. However, she still leaves the door open for him to return to therapy, and it seems like everyone else can see that Tony’s a sociopath except for her.
- During an argument with Carmela, Tony remarks that he has people in Italy on the lookout to kill Furio Giunta.
- Tony watches the 1991 film The Prince of Tides (directed by Barbra Streisand) with his comare Valentina La Paz, which compels him to try his luck with Melfi. He remarks that he’s a fan of Nick Nolte.
- Some changes within the Soprano crew: Vito Spatafore, Benny Fazio and Little Paulie have seemingly moved up the ranks over the last year-and-a-half. We also see Raymond Curto, who sporadically makes an appearance once every couple seasons.
- A possible theory: Johnny Sacrimoni poisoned Carmine. It’s probably not true, but it’s also important to remember that Johnny wanted to assassinate Carmine last year (Tony ultimately pulled out of the agreement and left Johnny in the motherfucking cocksucking wind). Before Carmine collapses during lunch, Johnny remarks that Carmine should finish his egg salad (poison?). He also keeps changing the conversation when Carmine starts to exhibit warning signs. Like I said, I doubt Johnny was behind it. Then again, when it comes to strokes, nobody knows anything really.
- Mad Men series creator Matthew Weiner joins the show’s writing staff in season five and even has a brief cameo as a news reporter early in the episode.
- “Two Tonys” was written by Terence Winter and series creator David Chase and directed by Tim Van Patten.
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
- “It’s so nice to have a man around the house.”
- “It’s like the Bowery Boys in here with this house arrest. Codewords and secret passages.”
- “I want your skin. I want your mouth. I want your eyes.”
- “Is this about the Easter baskets?”
- “Still going, this asshole!”
- “Life’s too short. You can’t waste it fighting with your friends.”
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