“POST HUMAN: NeX GEn” – Bring Me the Horizon

Album: POST HUMAN: NeX GEn

Artist: Bring Me the Horizon

Year: 2024

Genre: Alternative Metal, Hyperpop

Grade: D

I’ll give British hard rock band Bring Me the Horizon some credit: they’ve made quite a turnaround since their debut album. Seriously — they went from the worst band in the entire world circa 2006-10 to one that is just plain old terrible in 2024.

Count Your Blessings, Suicide Season and There Is a Hell Believe Me I’ve Seen It. There Is a Heaven Let’s Keep It a Secret are all bona-fide Grade F albums, the worst of the worst. That’s why Bring Me the Horizon should be proud that their latest release, POST HUMAN: NeX GEn (a sequel of sorts to their 2020 release Post Human: Survival Horror), is Grade D “godawful,” nothing more, nothing less.

Either by choice or by necessity, Bring Me the Horizon have embraced their screwball sensibilities. They’ve discovered hyperpop, which means their rapid-fire genre-switching — from screamo to emo to metalcore to pop-punk in the blink of an eye — finally has a bit of self-awareness to it. Not that their previous albums are deserving of revisionist history; rather, it’s probably a good thing that Oliver Sykes and co. have stumbled upon 100 gecs. Bring Me the Horizon’s juvenile theatrics aren’t quite as blasphemous as they once were.

However, I wouldn’t touch this album ever again with a 10-foot pole. This is very, very, very bad music — nearly a laugh but it’s really a cry. If you want to make yourself sick, then this is the stomach-retching album for you.

NOTES & CHORDS

• Edgelord metalcore lyric of the year: “And if Jesus Christ returns, we’ll just kill the fucker twice.”

• As far as terrible songs go, “YOUtopia” isn’t that bad. It’s punchy, catchy and sticks to a post-grunge and hard rock template that avoids the pratfalls of Bring Me the Horizon’s metalcore/emo/hyperpop experimentations.

• “AmEN!” features a Lil Uzi Vert guest verse in which he raps that he’s “feelin’ like a human centipede.” Everyone involved with the recording of this album can all go eat shit.

• You gotta love metal: it’s capable of very high highs but extremely low lows. In 2024 alone, both this album and Dragonforce’s Warp Speed Warriors are the worst I’ve heard this year. Nevertheless, the genre has also provided pretty good LPs by Judas Priest, Knocked Loose and (especially) High on Fire. Ah, the duality of music.

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