Some teams made jumps, others had significant falls. Some teams might recover, some won’t. But you can be sure of one thing: Carson Wentz is pretty damn good.
1. Denver Broncos (3-0)
Before, it was the defense carrying Siemian. Now, suddenly, Siemian is good enough to do it all by himself (300 yds, 4 TDs). Luckily for him, he doesn’t really have to. (Last week: 1)
2. New England Patriots (3-0)
A 27-0 drubbing of the Houston Texans on Thursday Night with rookie 3rd-string QB Jacoby Brissett making the start only proves that Bill Belichick is the greatest Sith Lord to ever coach in the NFL. His next masterpiece? A likely blowout win over the Bills with receiver Julian Edelman starting at QB. (Last week: 2)
3. Minnesota Vikings (3-0)
Don’t look now but the Vikings have just shut down Aaron “R-E-L-A-X” Rodgers and Cam “Dab” Newton in back-to-back weeks. And all without Adrian Peterson, no less! These northern boys are trying to become the NFC’s version of the Broncos. So far, it’s worked. (Last week: 6)
4. Green Bay Packers (2-1)
Once again, Aaron Rodgers showed why he is the best quarterback in the league on Sunday by absolutely shredding the Detroit Lions’ porous defense. The Packers have a bye this week and that loss to the Vikings doesn’t look as bad now that Carolina has also lost to them. (Last week: 10)
5. Seattle Seahawks (2-1)
Hey, there’s the offense! And yet… (Last week: 12)
6. Philadelphia Eagles (3-0)
It can’t be ignored anymore. Carson Wentz is good and so is this Eagles team, especially their defense. But then there’s still the doubts in the back of my mind. Am I the only one in denial? (Last week: 15)
7. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-1)
Superstar running back Leveon Bell returns from suspension this week. Similar to New England’s Tom Brady situation, the Steelers have had to weather the storm until their star player returns. But the loss to Philly hurts their Pennsylvania cred. (Last week: 3)
8. Carolina Panthers (1-2)
The Panthers shouldn’t be worried. They’ve basically lost to Denver one-and-a-half times (Minnesota now counts as .5 of Denver). However, the rest of the league might now have the secret formula for stopping Cam Newton. (Last week: 5)
9. Kansas City Chiefs (2-1)
A recent Ringer article shows that Alex Smith is a big TV aficionado. Y’know, prestige dramas and all that stuff. So now I ask, Mr. Smith: “What do you think of The Leftovers?” (Last week: 13)
10. Baltimore Ravens (3-0)
Elite Joe Flacco check-in: threw 21 straight completions, led drive to set up game-winning field goal, threw two 4th quarter interceptions, had to come from behind against a terrible Jacksonville team. The verdict still stands: Flacco is elite. (Last week: 14)
11. Cincinnati Bengals (1-2)
The Red Rifle is still throwing the ball well. Jeremy Hill has awoken from his slumber. Let the parade begin. (Last week: 9)
12. Oakland Raiders (2-1)
Who did they beat last week? Oh yeah, Tennessee. The defense needs to step it up. (Last week: 16)
13. Dallas Cowboys (2-1)
Dak Prescott, you beautiful son of a bitch! Is Tony Romo’s return now in doubt? Also, Ezekiel Elliot is great. (Last week: 17)
14. New York Giants (2-1)
Eli did all he could to lose the game against Washington in the most Eli way possible. And he succeeded. And they lost. And Odell Beckham, Jr. got beat up by a practice field-goal net. (Last week: 7)
15. Arizona Cardinals (1-2)
There’s trouble afoot in Arizona. Carson Palmer had the type of game in last year’s NFC Championship that you don’t really recover from (a la Jake Delhomme, January 10, 2009). (Last week: 4)
16. Houston Texans (2-1)
I’m not a big fan of Brock Osweiler’s play so far. (Last week: 8)
17. Atlanta Falcons (2-1)
Another question for Alex Smith: “Have you seen Atlanta?” (Last week: 21)
18. Los Angeles Rams (2-1)
I really don’t even know how any of the Rams players did in their win (win?) against Tampa. That’s good. It means they have the element of surprise. (Last week: 22)
19. Indianapolis Colts (1-2)
When Andrew Luck got the ball with just over a minute left, down 22-19 to the Chargers, my dad turned to me and said: “Well, this one’s over.” He didn’t mean that San Diego was going to walk away with the easy win. Quite the opposite really. (Last week: 28)
20. New York Jets (1-2)
Ryan Fitzpatrick (and Peyton Manning, I guess) are the only ones who can recover from a performance as bad as Fitz had against the Chiefs (0 TDs, 6 INTs). Reparations need to be made. (Last week: 11)
21. Washington Redskins (1-2)
“You like that?” Kirk Cousins yells. “Yeah!” reply the fans. (Last week: 29)
22. Buffalo Bills (1-2)
Bliss—however momentary—can be, uh, blissful. It all comes crashing down next week. (Last week: 27)
23. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-2)
There was a weather delay in their game, right? (Last week: 20)
24. Detroit Lions (1-2)
Don’t let the score fool you: these guys have replaced Blake Bortles and the Jaguars as the Garbage Time MVPs. (Last week: 19)
25. San Diego Chargers (1-2)
Another year, another disappointing season. That’s what they get for having the best weather of all time. (Last week: 18)
26. Miami Dolphins (1-2)
Ryan Tannehill deserves nothing—other than a starting job. Aside from that, Ryan Tannehill deserves nothing. (Last week: 24)
27. New Orleans Saints (0-3)
Drew Brees’ twilight years are being wasted. He continues to put up good fantasy numbers, though. (Last week: 25)
28. San Francisco 49ers (1-2)
Nothing really much to say about this team. (Last week: 26)
29. Tennessee Titans (1-2)
Who’s coaching this tire fire? (Last week: 23)
30. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-3)
They had an opportunity to beat the Packers in week 1. They had multiple opportunities to beat the Ravens in week 3. Yet Blake Bortles still remains a 33-year-old man trapped in a 24-year-old man’s body. Bad news: that 34-year-old might be Ryan Fitzpatrick. (Last week: 30)
31. Cleveland Browns (0-3)
Bonus points for Terrele Pryor suddenly skyrocketing up the list of “Greatest Brown Ever”. However, they continue to find new ways to lose. That missed field goal sure did sting. (Last week: 32)
32. Chicago Bears (0-3)
The Cubs have reached 100 wins. Nobody really cares about Jay Brian Cutler Hoyer right now. (Last week: 31)
