“The Family Stone” (2005)

The Family Stone

Grade: C

The Stone family is the type of irreverent, all-over-the-place, tightknit clan that can only exist in the movies, and The Family Stone is the type of movie where serious problems are ignored in favor of sentimentalism. A few more notes on The Family Stone:

Directing:

Thomas Bezucha writes and directs this simple story about a large family coming home for the holidays. It’s a cozy Christmastime film that takes place in one setting (inside and outside the cramped house), with screwball characters who talk in tropes in order to stand out. However, there are simply too many awkward moments and ambiguous tonal shifts for the film to be as warmhearted as it wants to be.

Acting:

The Stone family is big (two parents, five siblings, plus three significant others/tagalongs), and only the loudest ones stand out. Every actor plays a stereotype — the better to remember each character by. Among the best are Diane Keaton as the family’s eccentric matriarch, Craig T. Nelson as the family’s empathetic patriarch, and Sarah Jessica Parker as the awkward girlfriend everyone hates. The rest are a mixed bag of clichés and extra bodies that add to all the clutter, but I’d blame that on the weak dialogue rather than the performances themselves.

Writing:

Christmas rom-coms are guaranteed an audience, and The Family Stone hits all the familiar notes of love, sadness and holiday cheer. Yet the Stones are often too overbearing to garner much sympathy, which means the relationship drama and family dynamics — which are intended to be sweet and funny — come across as confusing and nonsensical.

Music:

The Family Stone is not a good movie. To counteract this fact, the film contains an extended scene of the Stones’ watching Meet Me in St. Louis, which is a good movie. It’s a desperate attempt at nostalgia. How dare Thomas Bezucha use “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” to cover his movie’s flaws.

Ending (SPOILERS):

Everett Stone falls for his girlfriend’s sister, while Ben Stone falls for Everett’s girlfriend. This is supposed to be a cute happily-ever-after, even though it would be an embarrassing and extremely uncomfortable arrangement in real life. But this being a schmaltzy Hollywood movie after all, we’re supposed to look past this dysfunctional family’s glaring red flags. This is a tale that can only exist in Tinseltown, and the ending comes wrapped in a tidy bow that feigns gladness and manages to be somewhat sweet if you can ignore the gaps in logic.

“You scoop me up with a big red shovel.” – Ben Stone

Why The Family Stone gets a C:

The Family Stone is either intentionally awkward or accidentally uncomfortable. The film is so messy and needlessly confusing that I can’t tell which one it’s supposed to be.

---