“Newsies” (1992)

Newsies

Grade: C

Despite the best efforts of an 18-year-old Christian Bale, Newsies is an overlong musical with unmemorable songs and some of the most annoying New York City accents ever heard onscreen. A few more notes about Newsies:

Directing:

First-time director Kenny Ortega had already been a longtime Hollywood choreographer (credits include Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Dirty Dancing and One from the Heart) before he helmed Newsies. However, he’s nothing special in his behind-the-camera debut — every scene feels cluttered, each set features a dull color scheme and even the choreography is rote and uninspired.

Acting:

Christian Bale stars as Jack Kelly, a 17-year-old paperboy in Manhattan, 1899, who leads a labor uprising against the villainous Joseph Pulitzer (played by Robert Duvall). Coming off his star-making performance in Steven Spielberg’s Empire of the Sun, Bale proves his worth again by being the only bright spot in a bad film. The kid’s got charisma, for sure, even if his singing leaves a little to be desired. Elsewhere, Duvall plays Pulitzer somewhere between the Grinch and Ebeneezer Scrooge, and Bill Pullman seems confused as to why he was included in the film at all.

Writing:

Over the course of two hours, Newsies can’t decide if it’s a coming-of-age story about an orphan boy, a history lesson about the Newsboys’ strike of 1899 or a West Side Story wannabe. As a result, Bob Tzudiker and Noni White’s screenplay is stretched too thin: the coming-of-age aspects are too few and far between (briefly touched on at the beginning of the film and left unresolved until it is too late to care); the historical aspects aren’t all that exciting (the staid directing makes it seem like all the action takes place in a quarter-mile radius); and the songs all sound the same (and kinda suck anyways).

Music:

Staying true to the essence of the film, I’ll repeat what I’ve already said: the songs all sound the same and kinda suck anyways. It doesn’t help that we get two or three reprises of each one (Bale’s soliloquy “Santa Fe” being the only “standout”). I recommend seeking out the musical of the same name for superior renditions.

Ending (SPOILERS):

Typical of a Disney adventure, everything ends happily ever after (with some good ole populism added in for good measure): Jack Kelly foregoes his Santa Fe dreams to stay with the girlfriend he barely talks to, Joseph Pulitzer finally sees the error of his evil ways and Theodore Roosevelt the trustbuster helps Make America Great Again^TM.

“Anyone who doesn’t act in their own self-interest is a fool.” – Joseph Pulitzer

Why Newsies gets a C:

Any musical with song-and-dance numbers this lifeless better have a compelling storyline to save the day, but Newsies is boring the whole way through. Print is dead.

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