“Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief” (2010)

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Grade: C-

Unintentionally hilarious, or extremely insulting, for how disrespectful it is to the source material, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief is one of the worst post-Harry Potter young-adult fantasy adaptations.

Directing:

Chris Columbus fails to capture the magic of The Sorcerer’s Stone (2001) and The Chamber of Secrets (2002), opting for sloppy CGI spectacle over intricate worldbuilding, packing each scene with unnecessary clutter to hide how empty and underdeveloped the film really is. A clunky mess of a movie that races to the finish line as loudly as possible.

Acting:

Logan Lerman is decent enough as the titular demigod teenager, although the thin script doesn’t require him to showcase much range. The supporting cast is at a disadvantage before they even open their mouths, however, due to the shoddy special effects: Pierce Brosnan as a paraplegic centaur and Sean Bean as a 70-ft. Zeus are very hard to take seriously.

Writing:

Fans of the book series are better off avoiding this adaptation altogether, since the storyline diverges so far from both Rick Riordan’s novel and Greek mythology itself (i.e., the completely made-up Persephone’s Pearls quest). Yet the movie fails on its own terms, too: lacking humor, character development and clear motivation for the plot, while also suffering from an uneven tone that is unsure what it wants its target audience to be, ultimately appealing to no one.

Music:

Christophe Beck’s propulsive orchestral soundtrack is put to good use: the film doesn’t go five minutes without an action sequence. Unfortunately, the inclusions of Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” and Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” are another misguided attempt by the producers to appeal to the masses rather than the core fanbase.

Ending (SPOILERS):

The resolutions happen so fast — Percy rescues his mother from Hades; Zeus calls off his war; traitor Luke is defeated in a weird aerial battle above NYC; Percy and Annabeth fall in love despite no romantic chemistry whatsoever — that you’ll forget what the problems even were in the first place. Whew, that was easy!

As the opening installment in a planned five-part series, The Lightning Thief‘s ending is completely unfulfilling, with no set-up for the future or overarching narrative to get excited about. Besides, Columbus and screenwriter Craig Titley have fundamentally altered the story so much that any chance to see the franchise to completion is ruined.

“Whoa! Whoa!” — Percy Jackson

Why Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief gets a C-

Terrible YA fantasy film, in line with Eragon (2006) and The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2010).

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